Splice

Clive (Adrien Brody) & Elsa (Sarah Polley) are scientist superstars, famous for splicing DNA fro different animals to create bizarre hybrids. They are i love with each other as they are with their work.And they want to go to the next step: splice Human DNA. But when their corporate financiers refuse, they decide to experiment in secrete. The result is DREN: an amazing creature whose rapid life cycle takes her from baby to adult in a matter of months. as Clive & Elsa struggle to keep Dren a secrete, their connection to their creation evolves from scientific to personal. Ultimately, Dren exceeds the couples wildest dreams- & their most terrifying nightmares.

I will get this out there first, I've enjoyed the hell out of Vincenzo Natali's other films. Cube being one of the best Sci-Fi/Horror hybrids I've seen in many a moon, Cypher was a well thought out but not quite well executed film but still was a good time waster & Nothing was in my top 10 films of 2003, I enjoyed it that much. So when I heard he was taking on a film that had a very Cronenberg of the 80's vibe, I was stoked to say the least.
I can now say it was Cronenberg light & more akin to Scanner's 2 & 3 than to Cronenberg's The Fly, not that that's a bad thing(I love those Scanner's sequels). There was allot of hyperbole surrounding this film which in it's own right did not deserve. People comparing it to Cronenberg in the first place had set the bar at atmospheric heights it could never achieve, & I'll admit it got me pumped to see it. Second, Guillermo del Toro jumped on board as an executive producer which coming off his amazing film Pan's Labyrinth & adding his name to a very creepy Spanish film called El orfanato(The Orphanage) got all the horror fandom frothing at their mouths. Throw in some fairly big (by Canadian standards) named stars & this film looked to be a huge success..............NOPE.
My biggest problem is Natali IMO can't handle a movie with a budget over 5 million. Cube cost 500,000, great film. Nothing cost 2 million(I've heard) great film. Cypher cost nearly 8 million with so-so results & now Splice cost in the area of 26 million with so-so results, I know it's not entirely Natali's fault, with bigger budgets comes allot of unwanted baggage in the ways of people telling you what to do & how to spend your dough but it seems other directors handle the stress better than Natali. These bigger budgeted films seem rushed & are Hodge-podged together to appease the money people. That being said for a movie that cost 26 million it is quite cheep in today's market when even TV shows are approaching the high single digit millions per episode & are less satisfying than this film (Dexter season 5 anyone!!!!!) I just wish Natali had the weight of say Cronenberg in order to say "Relax I know what I'm doing & leave me alone", if that were the case then Splice would have been the second coming because all the elements were there. Instead we end up with The Fly 2, which is just fine if your a trash film fan like myself but to most folks it was utter garbage.

Shutter Island

 When US Marshal Teddy Daniels (DiCaprio) arrives at the asylum for the criminally insane on Shutter Island, whats starts out as a routine investigation quickly takes a sinister turn. As the investigation unfolds & Teddy uncovers more shocking & terrifying truths about the island, he learns there are some places that never let you go.













Alright I'll start with the good before I rip into this stanley steamer. The more I think about it, the more it becomes clear, Scorsese is my favorite contemporary director. The man has made some truly remarkable films from Boxcar Bertha to Mean Streets to Taxi Driver to The Departed & everything in between, his list of hits out ways the duds ten fold. He always seems to assemble a cast of actors that will bring out the very best  that the script has to offer & if you go by the fact he has more returning actors than I would guess anybody else currently working in Hollywood, they all love to work with him. So with Shutter Island we have DiCaprio returning for the 4th time, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max Von Sydow & the extremely hot Emily Mortimer, so how could this film do anything but succeed, easily.....horror is one genre Scorsese is not suited for. Maybe a bit harsh, maybe this story was just a dud & he needs to go & talk to veteran horror directors, I don't know but this movie reeked of a reject from M.Night Shyamalan-ding-dong. I don't think I'm typing any spoiler here, but from the moment DeCaprio says"Where's my smokes" about 5 minutes into this film I knew the direction this film heading. Did I guess it 100%....nope but I was at 90% for sure & that last 10% means fuck all.  Was it fun riding the film to it's conclusion.....yes & no. While watching this film I was thrown back to Scorsese's other "horror" film Cape Fear & how much I was ultimately disappointed with that film. You assemble a top notch cast, have a clear vision in how the film should look & feel, roll out the film & all tension, that should be there in spades, falls flat....I MEAN FLAT.
I'm going to end this here & give this film a second chance sometime in the near future & see if it changes my view of it. Hopefully it will, but if Cape Fear is any indication it won't.

Thinking XXX

For a book project, photographer Timothy Greenfield-Sanders took photographs of 30 stars of adult movies, each pair of photographs in the same pose, clothed and nude. This film records the photo shoots and includes interviews with the performers and commentary from eight writers (and John Waters). The actors and writers discuss economics, nudity and exhibitionism, careers, and private lives.











Now I enjoy porn just as much as the next person, but I'm not into the silicone enhanced, perfect body fuck fests that are today's porn. Nor am I into these Johnny cum lately Internet loops the likes of Bang Bros, Mr. Monster or Misty slut rag. No I'm into the obscure, fucked up 70's early 80's shit that has ordinary folks fucking cause they love to do so. So why would I watch a documentary on porn stars of today, well there's a shit ton of nudity for one but this doc goes one step beyond & includes stars of yesterday. Yes sir Christy Canyon, Nina Hartley, Heather Hunter, Ron Jeremy, Ginger Lynn, Sharon Mitchell & Mr. Canadian pop shot himself Peter North all make cameo's. The photographer is apparently a pretty big name in the world of photography & I can understand his appreciation for the naked body, but was he really trying to do something more than just fancied up wank material.....I'm not sure. Sure the girls & boys aren't on the set of a Hustler shoot but to me there was a certain way his camera "penetrated" his subjects that reminded me of old school Playboy shoots, nice & clean, honest & innocent yet... it is still porn at the end of the day. All models on display share a little insight into their lives & what "may" have led them into the industry, but a hooker will tell you your the best lay ever, do you believe her/him...........?
I will say that the film as well as the book(I'm guessing) have decent production values & as mentioned earlier a shit ton of nudity, so it's worth a watch but don't listen to closely as there are some misinformed people in the industry that are talking out their ass.
6/10

Machine Gun McCain

After serving 12 years in prison for armed robbery, tough guy Hank McCain(John Cassaveties) finds himself the pawn of a ruthless mob runt's(Peter Falk) rebellion against a high level don. When McCain discovers that he's been betrayed & abandoned by his new employer, he retaliates with a high stakes Las Vegas casino heist that erupts into all-out war on the streets of Los Angeles, San Francisco & New York. Not blood nor lust, nor wedding vow can come between McCain & his money....or his machine gun.

Ok where to start.......flat out fatastic is as good as any. I'm not the worlds biggest ganster movie fan, hated The Godfather movies, enjoyed Goodfellas, thought The Untouchables to be merrly OK & I'm also not a huge fan of non exploitation Italian cinema like all the Poliziotteschi (Euro Crime) films but ladies & gentlemen this film has me gob smacked. John Cassaveties not only throws himself into this role with such a manical glee, he does so while keeping the camp factor you might expect, non exsistent. It no secrete that the man didn't much like his acting roles & prefered to be behind the camera but he even gave this movie it's due. All people thinking Peter Falk as Columbo should forget that role all together cause he gives what I might call a career's best here. It's a shame that Falk & Cassaveties don't share a singal sceen together in this film as you could be looking at a fore father to the now classic DeNiro/Pacino pairing in HEAT. Britt Ekland has always been a stunning looker but her acting has very hit & miss, the later being the most dominate. But here you get the feeling that Cassaveties, being a known actor's director, brought out what might be considered her best performance. Cassaveties real life wife, Gena Rowlands makes a small but impactfull performance that most other actresses would probibly pass off as fluff. The rest of the cast made up of Italian exploitation/polizotteschi regulars do very admirable jobs here.
While I wouldn't go on record as saying the action is non stop, it does deliver what has come to be expected from films of it's ilk, if not slightly better. The Ennio Morricone score is amoung his best, but that is like saying he's done a terrible one. Track this film down & give'r a spin, you won't be sorry.

9/10
Here's the Trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P1ZemdRJ-8

Hunter: Season 1

"Works For Me"

Often dubbed as T.V.'s answer to Dirty Harry, former football star Fred Dryer lights up the screen as Los Angeles police detective Rick Hunter, a renegade cop who brakes the rules and takes justice into his own hands. Patnered with the equally stunning & rebellious Sgt.Dee Dee "The Brass Cupcake" McCall(Stepfanie Kramer), the tough-minded duo bring an edgy attitude, extreme action, sly humor and sexual chemistry while cracking down on LA's slimiest criminals.








AHHHH the good old day's of evening television. As a young lad my week was broken up by T.V shows that while not as strong as the films I love, still had a harder edge to them. Shows like Magnum P.I., Simon & Simon, Tough Guy, Rockford Files, Miami Vice & Hunter had me eagerly awaiting next weeks installment like a crack head jonesing for the devils dick.  Hunter was just a little different than the others though, it plays more like a film than a t.v. show with bigger car chases, bigger shoot outs & bigger stunt work. It's been a long time since the last time I watched this show & remember the later episodes really starting to falter, but revisiting the first season has rekindled my fond memories for this show. Created by the same guy that brought us the A-Team & is littered with guest appearances the likes of Brian Dennehy, Dennis Franz, Bo Svenson, Ed O'Neil..ect, I can't say for sure but it must have been the benchmark for special appearances that only Miami Vice could touch later on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppxhXeT9dkI

Machete

They Just Fucked With The Wrong Mexican!

For anybody that saw the the ill fated film that was GRINDHOUSE back in the spring of 2007 a few things might pop to mind. 1) If you lived in Canada you got to see a fake trailer for HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN & if like me was begging for it to be made into a feature, well it now has & 2011 can't come fast enough. 2) Both features were not really "grindhouse" movies. 3) The fake trailers were the best thing about the whole production in which MACHETE was one.

Flash forward 3 years & Robert Rodriguez is the first to draw blood or fall on the sword depending on how well this film does theatrically.  The story follows a Mexican Federale nick named Machete(A fantastic Danny Trejo) as he tracks down his arch nemesis & Mexican drug kingpin Torrez(equally good Steven Seagal). As Machete closes in to capture Torrez, Torrez has a surprise for the Federale which would scar Machete for life. Flash forward and Machete finds himself States side, broke, unemployed & illegal. One day he has  run in with a shady fellow named Booth(Jeff Fahey) in which Booth hires Machete to assassinate a senator(Robert De Niro) for his racist views on Mexicans. Job day arrives & Machete finds himself on the wrong end of a double cross. Shot, bleeding & fleeing from law enforcement, Machete starts piecing together a plot that will also bring him to within striking distance of his old nemesis Torrez.

Truth told, I've enjoyed every single one of Roberts movies, yes even those SPY KIDS films, & while he may not be as bankable as his buddy Tarantino, he buck for buck is the more exciting of the two IMO. Machete brings forth all the same self indulgence that Rodriguez enjoyed with Planet Terror. Fake film scratches, choppy editing, shitty CGI blood & a gore quotient that is quite amazing. The big difference between the 2 films is that this movie might have played the fabled "grindhouses" of the 70's whereas Planet Terror may have played the multiplexes.

For such a genre film, a cast of top notch has beens was assembled & each and every one of them deserves another crack at big screen glory. Starting with Danny Trejo, he easily fills the screen with a presence that has been missing since Charles Bronson passed away. Tough does not even begin to describe it & I can only hope he doesn't slide back into supporting roles without a few cracks at staring ones, this man can carry them with ease. Steven Seagal has been banished to DTV hell for quite some time now & while he's had a few decent outings there, most have been pay cheque jobs that haven't helped his career out. I can only hope that the less fat bastard makes a comeback in the same way Stallone has done, and with the success of Rambo & The Expendables the world may be ready for the king of the three word tittles to make another big screen gem. Jeff Fahey has never been a A lister for reasons I can seem to find but give this man any role & he'll lay down a performance that keeps you wondering why he doesn't get more work. He outshines everybody in this film IMO. Don Johnson & Robert De Niro turn in rather silly but good performances & in the case of Johnson it was nice seeing him again. Now we get to the ladies of Machete, Jessica Alba gets nude but in a not too reveling way which sucked. Michelle Rodriguez is smoken hot and is boner inducing with a eye patch & machine gun, which leads us to Lindsay Lohan. OK shes out of control in real life, but she's a red head, has freckles & a body that won't quit. Not that she turns in a career best performance here, but she shows off those sweet Ta Ta's & that's all I want in my exploitation movies.

As the years go by, less & less films with "original" ideas get funding all the while re-vamp's/re-do's get green lit to be directed by limp dicked T.V. & music directors & marketed for the ever dumbing A.D.D populace, this world need more than ever a movie like Machete to straighten out those cock eyes with a swift kick in the ass.

8.5/10

Greetings

I'm attempting to bring myself into the modern age by using this cyberspace diary in ways that might suit me better than Facebook.  I'm a movie fanatic cheesy movie fanatic & have been my whole life. Having spent my teenage years in the 80's I got to see the last grasp of drive-in style movies actually play movie houses before the films went exclusively direct to video & the good old theatres were beaten to a pulp by the corporate multiplexes. You see kids, there was a time when you paid good hard earned cash to see a movie & didn't have to be bombarded with a preshow of paparazzi style info on who Brad Pitt is fucking or the next Twilight kid pick'n his nose only to be followed by a non-stop stream of bank ads, milk commercials, Calvin Klein's heroin addicted models and god knows what else these theatres can milk money from. In many a way I hope the home theatre market/Internet downloading kills these gluttons, but that is a double edge sword, cause as good as home theatres get there is no substituting the air around seeing  film on the big screen, I still love it even if I have to sit through all the shit first.