For anybody that saw the the ill fated film that was GRINDHOUSE back in the spring of 2007 a few things might pop to mind. 1) If you lived in Canada you got to see a fake trailer for HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN & if like me was begging for it to be made into a feature, well it now has & 2011 can't come fast enough. 2) Both features were not really "grindhouse" movies. 3) The fake trailers were the best thing about the whole production in which MACHETE was one. Flash forward 3 years & Robert Rodriguez is the first to draw blood or fall on the sword depending on how well this film does theatrically. The story follows a Mexican Federale nick named Machete(A fantastic Danny Trejo) as he tracks down his arch nemesis & Mexican drug kingpin Torrez(equally good Steven Seagal). As Machete closes in to capture Torrez, Torrez has a surprise for the Federale which would scar Machete for life. Flash forward and Machete finds himself States side, broke, unemployed & illegal. One day he has run in with a shady fellow named Booth(Jeff Fahey) in which Booth hires Machete to assassinate a senator(Robert De Niro) for his racist views on Mexicans. Job day arrives & Machete finds himself on the wrong end of a double cross. Shot, bleeding & fleeing from law enforcement, Machete starts piecing together a plot that will also bring him to within striking distance of his old nemesis Torrez.
Truth told, I've enjoyed every single one of Roberts movies, yes even those SPY KIDS films, & while he may not be as bankable as his buddy Tarantino, he buck for buck is the more exciting of the two IMO. Machete brings forth all the same self indulgence that Rodriguez enjoyed with Planet Terror. Fake film scratches, choppy editing, shitty CGI blood & a gore quotient that is quite amazing. The big difference between the 2 films is that this movie might have played the fabled "grindhouses" of the 70's whereas Planet Terror may have played the multiplexes.
For such a genre film, a cast of top notch has beens was assembled & each and every one of them deserves another crack at big screen glory. Starting with Danny Trejo, he easily fills the screen with a presence that has been missing since Charles Bronson passed away. Tough does not even begin to describe it & I can only hope he doesn't slide back into supporting roles without a few cracks at staring ones, this man can carry them with ease. Steven Seagal has been banished to DTV hell for quite some time now & while he's had a few decent outings there, most have been pay cheque jobs that haven't helped his career out. I can only hope that the less fat bastard makes a comeback in the same way Stallone has done, and with the success of Rambo & The Expendables the world may be ready for the king of the three word tittles to make another big screen gem. Jeff Fahey has never been a A lister for reasons I can seem to find but give this man any role & he'll lay down a performance that keeps you wondering why he doesn't get more work. He outshines everybody in this film IMO. Don Johnson & Robert De Niro turn in rather silly but good performances & in the case of Johnson it was nice seeing him again. Now we get to the ladies of Machete, Jessica Alba gets nude but in a not too reveling way which sucked. Michelle Rodriguez is smoken hot and is boner inducing with a eye patch & machine gun, which leads us to Lindsay Lohan. OK shes out of control in real life, but she's a red head, has freckles & a body that won't quit. Not that she turns in a career best performance here, but she shows off those sweet Ta Ta's & that's all I want in my exploitation movies.
As the years go by, less & less films with "original" ideas get funding all the while re-vamp's/re-do's get green lit to be directed by limp dicked T.V. & music directors & marketed for the ever dumbing A.D.D populace, this world need more than ever a movie like Machete to straighten out those cock eyes with a swift kick in the ass.
8.5/10
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